George Carlin - Wasted Time - Sharing a Swallow

Текст песни

Den-deh-dehhhh! Remember that? Do you still do that? Den-deh-dehhhh! Don't lose that, man.
Den-nehhh! Remember when you were a kid on a hot day? Nobody was around. Nothing to
do...Den-deh-dehhhh! I'll still do it, man. I'll push the button in the elevator- Dum-duhhm! Watch
the numerals going up- Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-DAH! Yeah, otherwise that's all
wasted time, you know? Elevator. There's nothing to do in the elevator except not look at the
other guy. Stare at your shoes.
I play 'spy' at the airport. Do you ever do that? I believe in using that kind of time; it's wasted
time. I play 'spy' at the airport. Especially a big airport. You know there's a spy at the airport.
Your job - find him.
Get into a little of this (drinks some water). Mmm. I'll share this with you. I'll share a swallow of
water with you. Why not, man. No one ever shares a swallow with you. It's kind of a personal
sound. (sticks microphone to his throat and swallows water) GLLLLLLLLLL! SPLASH! That second
half is the best part of the swallow, you know? There are two parts... a lot of people don't
realize. Two parts to the swallow. The first one, that..that kinda bubbly sound is when you pour
somethin' in your mouth, your throat closes up. 'Cause your throat doesn't trust your mouth,
man. Your throat knows your mouth is crazy... and will do anything. So your throat is kind of a
monitor and you pour something in you mouth, your throat says, "Hold on. Let's check that stuff
out." Then the brain goes (makes 'calculating' sounds) "Looks okay to me, let 'er go!"
'Blllmmmm!' Listen again for the two parts and especially that second one which is kinda
like...going home. GLLLLLLLLLL! SPLASH! That was a goody.